of panic attack & hot air (photos)

Of panic attack & hot air

Hey guys, its been like forever since my last post , sorry for the delay, am just too "busy" and unmotivated to login into my account these days, so yeah, I'm glad to say that i've passed all the main subjects for this semester and will proceed into my third year in med school this August ! yeay me. So this is a lil bit of what I had experienced in these last few months in my 4th semester .. some pictures and one hell of an experience !

"The patient need to be circumcised right away ! Here's your chance farid"  ,the 4th year senior said, well , I had never done one before . "gulp", so this is it , my first time as an operator to perform a normal circumcision , an outpatient surgery, merely a skilled "doctor" , It was my 3rd week in the urogenitalia block and they expect me to be skilled enough to perform this "complex" procedure on this tiny kid , with my own bare hands~ I'll be damned, sweat running through my skin mucosa as it evaporated into the thin warm air , I tried to tell myself ,my first real procedure as an operator, the one who construct , handle everything from the first move until the finishing line, I got myself 2 assistant to assist my "mini" surgery,  my patient is about 7 years old, a small kid with a condition called phimosis, first I explained to his mother that I would "cut" the skin off her child penis while he was in his bed, laying him out flat, numbing up a spot around his genitals and start to cut off the skin and make a fine sutures around his penis. Simple ! as informed consent is really important ,I told that everything is going to be alright, nor did i say how tricky the procedure would be, There would be a lil bit of risks involved such as bleeding or maybe an infection or deformity but don't worry ma'am in experienced hands the errors may not occur ! , but of course deep down in my heart , the words keep repeating itself "mine were not experienced hands and I may cut this child penis into half and make him infertile for the whole time of his life" ! So I started to prepare all the instruments and drugs , and first thing first is to block the superficial nerve of the genitals I had seen kal el do the procedure twice , and I'd attended to every step. The degree , the locations and the techniques, go with a 30 degrees angle from above the pubis then pushed the needle in almost the way , once you have the tip of the needle poking in the layer of the skin u need to slowly inject the lidocaine into the nerve and everything went perfectly well until the penis starts to bleed heavily when I started to cut off the skin of the genital, I was panicking and everything seems so blur , all the theories i had learned in the lectures were gone ! I got confused , tachycardia takes place ,and thank god kak el was there , she guided me through every steps ,take a deep breathe in and out , "farid, keep calm and start to make a knot around his vein to stop the bleeding" !,, using the clamp provided I start to think normal again, i took the trauma pad ,the suture set and perform a fine suture around the bleeding area  , finally the bleeding has gradually stop, after that kak el instruct that I have to make a clean cut off the extra skins and carefully sew the flappy skin up. It took me about 55 mins to complete all the procedures, it was back aching, nerve wrecking  and a lil bit of adrenaline rush. .... Overall, I got to perform 3 of the surgeries that day . Well not everyone appreciates the attractions of doing this kind of procedures especially the one which involves blood and people screaming at ya , but trust me the one thing that you will likely to enjoy when you're medical student is the first time u experiencing the excitement of getting thing rights for the people around you, this mini procedures may be as easy as a piece of cake to the seniors but I'm really glad to be part of the team for this event and I'm sure that i'll be joining this again! yehaaaa~ :D

You'll be okay by A Great Big world

                   

You'll be okay
You'll be okay
The sun will rise
To better days

And change will come
It's on it's way
Just close your eyes
And let it rain

'Cause you're never alone
I will always be there
You just carry on
You will understand

You'll be okay
You'll be okay
Just look inside
You know the way

Let it go
Fly away
And say goodbye
To yesterday

'Cause you're never alone
And I will always be there
You just carry on
You will understand

And I will be strong
When love is gone
I'll carry on...

You'll be okay
You'll be okay
The sun will rise
To better days

You'll be okay
You'll be okay
Just close your eyes
And let it rain

When you need it the most
And all you've got is a prayer
You must carry on
You will understand
You will understand
You will understand

You'll be okay
You'll be okay
You'll be okay

End of the 2nd year (M.D UNHAS)

Well semester 4 has already began,

Currently in the 2nd week of the first block (urogenitalia)

beside that, i'll be facing another two blocks for this semester (gastroenterohepatology and reproductive),

 I guess the lower parts of the human body is kinda complicated and a lil way out of my league, but whatever it is in order to get my M.D title I just need to bear with all of these heavy and complex knowledge of GENITALS and GENITALs and VAH JAY JAY,

yes

when i said Vah jay jay, i really meant it,

every lecture ended by some pictures of infected vagina and penis

inspections and palpations of the penis , scrotum , vagina , anal in clinical skills,

it feels really weird though learning all these stuffs about our genitals and how they will react(respond) just from a single touch?

the other day the doctors instructed us to perform a rectal examination to the mannequin provided , well, FYI , informed consent is very important and a crucial step before we perform any physical examination on patients, so all we need to do is to "ask" the mannequin whether they let us to perform  the rectal exam on them and make sure that the patient or shall I say in this case  the mannequin is well-informed about the procedure . and then we proceed, inserting one finger into the fake rectum(anal) and describe the condition.

to be frank, even though it was only a mannequin, I felt really awkward and somewhat disturbed .

I just can't imagine if it were a real patient(human) back then , I might just puke and literally freak out in front of them . nahhh,,

i'm a "gunner" so yeah, nahhh, i'll be just fine?

I hope so.

anyhow, I always have this feeling or urge to compare myself to others thus,
reading and memorising ! and yes understanding !

I really need to ace my way through this block.

so yes!

I got 2 weeks left before the finals exam !

SO LONG people.

TO BE CONTINUE...

**I'll be at kampung tekalar this weekend for the faculty events!

acara sunat beramai2 and this year is my year! InsyaALLAH i'll be the operator/assistant to perform the ciircumcision !

and i'm sure going to upload all the pictures later

can't wait!

OUH ZAINUDDIN, BYE ZAINUDDIN. :*

(tenggelamnya kapan van der wijck)

Unleash

The summer has spoken

Through the heavy rain
I have chased the road
To solve all the pieces
And I'm tired of sitting waiting
Alone by the shadow
We were soft and standing still in the light

it was all everything I ever wanted
And you said you always had my back
but no, i had no back and you were at the front

moonlight comes reflecting

and there I go

alone

If i were to kill myself

if killing is worth more than my soul

I would kill the entire world

Of dreams and hopes

but No

so

DON'T 

I'll continue

I'll go through

I'll survive

and DIE 

2014

ITS 2014 BEBEH.

So I guess , this is it. Turning 23 this year.

and these are my priorities from now on !

• FAITH
• learn from mistakes ( no one is perfect , i have my own quirks , so yes)
• Consistency ~ ~ ~ ~ 
• be more empathetic (connected)
• DONT BE A TOTAL SNOB (modesty will be just fine)
• GOD
• FAMILY
• BEST friends (make time and respect)
• BE CREATIVE AND SPEAK UP !
• EXTRACURRICULAR LIFE
• Bear in mind (There is no such thing as instant result)
• single and independent.
• WARNING (DON'T WORRY TOO MUCH)
• AVOID ATTENTION IF I WOULD HAVE PEACE
• ACADEMICS 
• BODY

I'm back

hey boys and girls.

I'm back, its been like a decade since my last post,

yeah yeah yeah 

currently in my semester break as a 2nd year med student,

guess what i've already finished my semester 3 :) and proudly to say that I've passed all the subjects .

yeay me.

ALHAMDULILLAH :)

*FIRST YEAR*